The Winter

I love the winter! It is so nice, even though it is freezing. I live in Chicago and a suburb of Chicago (kind of in the country), so it gets pretty cold. The best thing about winter is that it always seems like there is no life out there. This seems to be true the most in the country, you don't here any birds or insects. Its so quite. I also love that everything seems to be dead, I know life is only hiding trying to shield itself from the elements, but its still does appear that way. I love this though. It really has a beauty all its own. While it is nice to see greenery and little animals running around during all the other seasons, I find the absence of it all in the winter makes it feel more peaceful outside. I think my favorite time in winter is after an ice storm, when everything is covered in ice. I love looking around and seeing every thing glistening in the sun. I love driving by fields and any vegetation left protruding through the ground and snow is encased in clear ice. Branches of trees look like crystals. It is really amazing. The country so pretty in the winter.

Now Chicago is a different story. While I still love the winter here there are a lot more things going on. The city never has that quite serene feeling. It never feels like everything is dead. There are not many animals that hide, well except for the rats, and you don't really want to know where they are hiding. Its so busy, with so many people. I love that there is so many different types of people too. It's so great to see that people that live in Chicago are not scared easily by the winter weather. I've seen people going for runs when it is below 0 degrees out. Now I am not a runner and I absolutely hate doing it, and even though I think these people are a little nuts, I love them for it.

I'm so glad we still have a few months left of this weather, because even though I love the spring and all the life it brings, I always miss the winter. The first snow, when you don't want to go outside because you don't want to ruin the perfectness with your footprints. I miss looking at the woods with the snow blanketed over the ground and all the trees. I miss sitting on the couch under a big blanket watching television or reading a book drinking hot coco. I miss the cold. However, one thing that the snow brings that I could definitely do with out are the potholes. Now that is one thing I definitely will never miss.

Stranger

Have you ever felt like a stranger in your own body? Like the things you say and do are not anything you recognize that you would say, at least not from a you from before. Like maybe you've been taken over by some unseen force that only you noticed the changes, but you didn't notice them until they were so different so drastic and deviated so much from yourself that you did not even see you anymore but by then it was too late. No going back to the person you were before; before this unseen force came and took over. And is there no going back? Or can you some how go back to that person you used to be? Can you take yourself back from this unseen force and become the person you once were, or is that person lost forever?

Does this force take you over slowly so you don't even notice the changes? You don't even notice you loosing control, you can't see yourself slipping way. Or does it drag you kicking and screaming not wanting to let go of yourself? You can see yourself changing and you can't do anything about it, it drags you down like a ten foot wave beating you over and over again into submission, till there is no fight left.

Can you stop this force? Can you fight it away and keep you intact? Is there away to not loose yourself to this force that is so powerful, it can bring you to your knees in tears. It can knock the breath right out of your lunges and you don't even see it coming. It can sneak up on you when you least expect it, driving in the car, listening to music, watching tv, eating at a restaurant causing you pain you did not think you could feel. How do you fight something so powerful and stealthy?

And after it's done, after this force has gotten in and taken over, do you look in the mirror and see this stranger? Not the face that stares back at you but the thoughts you think, the emotions you have, the words you speak, the actions you do. You see the recognizable face looking at you in the mirror, the eyes that stare back, the lips the move the same way, but you still don't recognize this person in the mirror. This...this stranger.