It's weird how life changes. The route you think your life is going to go, never really goes that way. The person you think you are going to be, never really appears. Instead you are left going down this road; it's a strange road that you don't recognize, and you don't really know how you got there. The person that you are is sometimes a stranger, and you wonder where is that person I used to be? The innocent, naive person, that sometimes you still wish you were. I think back to the time when life was so much easier, when my path was clear with few choices, when I was naive wanting to learn more, and I wish that things could be that easy. Now I am so confused with which path to chose. What is going to happen if I decide to go one way or the other? What is going to happen if things don't work out? I am worried about the person I've become. Who is this person? Why do I do the things I do, wishing I didn't do them? Why do I say and think the things I do, wishing I didn't? Where is that me I used to be? Why did things have to change?
I think each day it gets easier to deal with all these changes. I think making the decision on which path to chose is becoming easier. I become more and more confident that I have made the right choices. I think that I am understanding this person inside me a little more each day. The things I don't like I have to change, I can no longer live with this person with out being able to see part of that me that I was before. I can find a way to be the old me and the new me, which i believe will be a better me. I have to find a way to make this possible. I cannot lose that young innocent person from the past, she cannot become a memory.
