Pieces of you

Do you ever feel like life slowly takes away pieces of you? That each day brakes off part of who you are until you're left with someone you barely recognize? Change is good, but to change in to someone you don't know isn't. When your in a relationship it makes bigger pieces break off or it breaks off small pieces more frequently. When your heart gets broken not only does your heart shatter into a billion pieces but so do you. Your entire being breaks apart. Eventually, you put the pieces back together, but you are never the same again. Either the pieces don't fit together the same way or some pieces are lost and will never be found. Your heart will never be whole again because that person that shattered it keeps pieces of it forever. Then you begin to hate yourself because you let someone so close to you, you gave them the one thing that was yours, the greatest gift you could give anyone and they take it and stomp all over it. Not caring about what it will do to you, only caring about what they can get from you. Taking and taking from you until there isn't much left, then throwing you away as if you meant nothing to them. Moving on to the next person, taking whatever they can get from them. Leaving you broken. You'll never be able to have that innocence or naiveness going into a relationship again. There is always that fear of getting to close or completely giving your heart away again. You'll never be able to completely fall in love with someone else because you can never have that same trust in another person. Even after you've pieced together your heart, it can never be given away in the same way again.

Thoughts on Writing a Paper

I'm so bad at starting a paper. For some reason when I sit down to write I feel like I'm back in english class writing a paper, trying to figure out what to say first. Even though this is different than that it is a little difficult for me to figure out what to write. However, it always seems like when I do start writing, my paper always goes in a different direction of what I say at the beginning and I end up having to rewrite it.

If only life was like that. It would be awsome if we could rewrite things that we've done in our lives that we just didn't expect to do, or that we didn't want to go in a certain direction. I wish I could erase the things I wish I hadn't done and put something I liked better in it's place. Like actually studying for physics and homeostasis. Or transfering schools when I had the chance. Actually looking at different colleges rather than choosing one with no regard to all others, and not dating that one person I knew I shouldn't have. I wonder how my story would be different and how much easier it would be to finish writing it. But now I have to struggle with what I have written in the past and hope that it all makes sense in the end.