Plans

I remember, when I was young, I made a plan for my life. I thought I would finish college in 4 years, have a job and then get married by the time I was 25. Then if I decided to have kids I would start when I was 28-29 years old. As I grew older I wasn't sure if I even wanted kids, but I knew that if I didn't want to have my own I would probably adopt. I still had plans for everything else to go the way I planned.

It is so weird how things do not go as planned. It's funny how as a kid I thought sticking to this plan would be so easy, but life is never easy. If it were what kind of a life would that be? Anyway, I was so naive, but I guess that is part of being a kid. I kind of laugh at how simple I believed things worked. So far nothing has gone according to my plans. It is a little disheartening at times because I thought I would be somewhere else in life right now. Even just starting my career is more complicated than I thought. The married thing is a whole other story. While I was naive enough to believe I had found that person I realize that things can never be that easy, no matter how badly you want it.

So now my plans have changed. Changed so completely. I no longer make any plans relationship wise. I found hoping and wishing things in this part of my life just leaves disappointment and pain. However for the career part I have made short plans; it gets so complicated. Complicated in the fact that I have two career paths I am going to have to choose from. Having to choose between different paths is difficult. I never thought I would have to choose. I never thought that I would want two different career paths so much. So, for now, I am going to stay along the path I am on, I have a year and half till I have to decide what I am going to do. I'm not going to think about it till I have to. I figure I have to focus on other things right now.

Thinking about where I am in my life and where I want to be can be a little upsetting but things could definitely be worse.